When people hear the word “narcissist” they usually think of a bumptious, megalomaniac who cares about nothing but his or her interests. A late president is often highlighted as a prototype. He wasn’t called “Baby Donald” for nothing.
A few years ago, I didn’t know anything about narcissism, but learning about it has been an eye-opener. To understand how widespread it is. How much damage narcissists can cause. That they cannot be treated like other rational human beings.
Hence, I will share with you some of what I have learned.
- Narcissism has many outlets. It has different forms (not only the “Baby Donald” type). Even shy introverts can be narcissists.
- Narcissism exists everywhere. Not just in highly individualistic America. It is even widespread here in friendly Scandinavia. Despite a strong ”we” culture. It may not be accepted or encouraged, but due to our gullibility, it can still flourish. In hindsight, I have also realised that the United Nations is an organisation where narcissism is rampant and rewarded.
- Narcissism exists on a spectrum. We all have a narcissist within us. But healthy, more mature people feel ashamed when they let their egos get the better of them. “I shouldn’t have done that.” And try to make up for it. Narcissists never do that. And by a narcissist, I mean someone on the higher end of the narcissistic spectrum.
Why is it important to understand narcissism?
Because if we cannot recognise it, we will do nothing to stop it.
And that is a major reason why so many of our political leaders are immature narcissists. We let it happen.
Too many people cheer them on, actively or passively.
As an introduction to narcissism, I will give you some resources:
1. Checklist and video: “A Real Life Checklist For Identifying Narcissism” by Dr Les Carter.
2. Video: “The #1 Way To Identify A Narcissist” also by Dr Les Carter (This is a favourite of mine. It never fails).
3. Article: Pathological power: the danger of governments led by narcissists and psychopaths.
4. The funny one: Who pushed his way to the front at a NATO meeting?
A warning: You can find much unserious material on social media and the Internet about narcissism. Some of it is by people I suspect to be narcissists themselves!
If you want to educate yourself further make sure you find reliable sources. As from psychologists with long-standing experience in handling narcissism. Dr Les Carter is one of them.
I will come back to you with more on narcissism. These people are causing so much damage. In families, workplaces and societies.
And as long as we do not stop them, we will not solve our problems. Whether it is about dysfunctional families, toxic work or Climate Change. The recent events in Sri Lanka seem to be the result of long-standing narcissism within powerful families.
If you say, as I did up until a few years ago, “I have never met a narcissist” – think again.
Photo by Marija Zaric.
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